For many people with a chronic lung disease like COPD, having people who they trust to provide support and assistance is essential. But sometimes caregivers can’t live close to the people they are caring for. Long-distance caregivers can help manage a loved one’s finances, organize their medical appointments, coordinate with other caregivers and offer emotional support. Karen and Ingrid are a mother and daughter team who prove that this arrangement can not only work, but it can also make a big difference.
How Long-Distance Caregiving Works
In 1991, Karen stopped smoking because her primary care provider (PCP) said if she didn’t, she would need to go on supplemental oxygen. Though she listened and quit right away, reoccurring bouts of bronchitis caused her to experience worsening respiratory symptoms. Karen began struggling to climb the stairs without becoming short of breath. She also found everyday household chores like mopping, vacuuming and carrying groceries left her breathless. After about 10 years of dealing with these symptoms on her own, Karen talked to her healthcare provider and was referred to a pulmonologist who put her through several lung function tests. The tests determined she has emphysema and chronic bronchitis, later to be generally explained as COPD. “I was furious because I had quit smoking, but the doctor explained that unfortunately the damage I had done while I smoked could not be undone, and the bronchitis exacerbated it,” Karen explained.
That was 24 years ago. Today, Karen continues to manage her COPD symptoms with three medications, two daily inhalers and a rescue albuterol inhaler. She has also been put on oxygen when she sleeps, is exercising or exerting in any way and when she travels. As she has aged, her COPD has caused a number of comorbidities or other health conditions that require additional medication. It is a lot to manage, but luckily Karen’s daughter Ingrid has always been involved.
This is not any easy task though since Karen lives in Florida and Ingrid lives north of Atlanta. “My daughter, Ingrid, does a lot of caregiving even though it is long-distance,” Karen explains. “She checks on me at least once a day and makes sure I remember to refill my prescriptions on time, so I do not run out of medication. There have been a couple of times when I needed that reminder.” Ingrid also keeps in touch with Karen’s primary care provider and comes to appointments whenever she is in town.
Modern technology like Zoom and FaceTime have made it easier to keep up with each other. Karen has found that since she lives alone, being in touch virtually is a nice way to feel more connected. “I FaceTime with Ingrid and my sister in Seattle. I like it because when you see someone’s face, you can tell a little bit more than just talking on the phone,” she said.
Long Distance Caregivers Can Help Patients Live the Life They Want
Most impressively, Ingrid has helped Karen continue to be a COPD advocate.
Karen became involved with the Lung Association in 2001, after her initial diagnosis. She joined the then local board and participated in the asthma walks. As the Lung Association evolved, so did Karen’s involvement. She continued participating in LUNG FORCE events and became a member of the tobacco-free partnership council until her recent move. Currently she participates in the COPD Patient Advisory Group.
Though Karen’s advocacy work is very important to her, she wouldn’t be able to do it without the help of her daughter. Ingrid takes time off work so that she can join her mother when she travels to places like Washington D.C. and other out-of-town locations where Karen is convening with other COPD advocacy groups. “She has traveled with me to many events, like Lung Association conferences with the Airways Clinical Research Centers (ACRC). I couldn’t do any of that by myself,” Karen said. “I have COPD and am on oxygen, so it can be difficult for me to walk. I’m normally in a wheelchair and carting my portable oxygen concentrator and extra batteries, plus I have several comorbidities that can make it difficult to travel. I am so lucky that my daughter takes the time to push me around at any event that is important to me.”
Karen also enjoys traveling to her daughter's home where she gets to spend time with her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. There, her daughter monitors her daily activities to make sure she is taking care of herself.
It Takes a Village
One of the most important things for Karen’s mental health is staying active and in touch with the people she cares about. Besides Ingrid, Karen has a group of friends who check in on each other every morning. “Since we live alone, it is a good way to make sure that we are all ok. You know that is real community when you check on each other on a daily basis to make sure everything is good first thing in the morning,” she said.
Karen lives in a senior community with lots of activities and she loves to participate and spend time with her friends. She has even raised awareness among her senior living community by setting up a table at their health fair and talking about COPD and the Lung Association, with an emphasis on smoking cessation. Additionally, Karen uses the online Inspire communities and other online resources to connect with other people with COPD and offer support.
“When people are newly diagnosed, I try to calm them down and encourage them to see their pulmonologist before they jump to conclusions about their health. I try to assure them that there are many of us who have been living with this condition for many years,” Karen explained. “Look at me, I’m here 24 years after my severe COPD diagnosis. I’m 79 years old, and I am slowed down, but I am still living my life. I was knocking on my elected officials’ doors last week in the rain. A diagnosis does not stop your life. There is hope.”
Advice for Starting Caregiving
When establishing a caregiving relationship, Karen suggests starting gently. She understands that it can be difficult for some people to ask for help, but would be the first to advocate for it. “I love that my daughter is so involved, it means so much to me that she cares and reaches out daily, but for some people they may need to work at boundaries and ease into caregiving,” she said.
Start with initial steps like encouraging them to quit smoking and checking on their progress or helping them eat healthy. These important steps that people with lung disease may struggle to take are an opportunity for caregivers to offer support and understanding.
You can find more information about how to offer support to people with COPD on our website.
Blog last updated: April 15, 2025
